When I think of Kay, these are some of the words that come to mind:
Gutsy, energetic, smart, driven, sharp-tongued, cantankerous, impatient, generous.
These conflict, you say. As Betty Anne would say: SO???!! Kay was a complex person. Despite her abundant skills, she could come across as self-effacing. I can’t recall her ever promoting herself even when she should have.
She was self-confident and sure-footed, however.